Three
Posted on May 2nd, 2008
by 
kcidybom
kcidybom
Now here's a three of an idea!
I was tagged by B.B....;-)
Three jobs I have had in my life. The most fun were:
Short order cook in a restaurant called the Hexagon House when I was eighteen. The fact that the building was actually an octagonal shape didn't seem to register on the owners, a gay-guy couple who were more male-mothers to me than bosses. One, Rodger, had an affected falsetto voice and was the first person I ever heard ask "Would you like fries with that?" When he thought nobody could hear him his voice lowered an octave or two.
Agent in a technical call-center - yeah, the same one rapunzel worked in. I got to hear customers say cool things like "Do you have any idea what it feels like to have an entire telephone company rammed up your ass?" and "My son's computer has a message that says 'You have performed an illegal operation.' I don't want him to get into trouble with the police. What the hell did he do?" and "If the history section in the browser lists tons of porno sites does that mean they were actually visited? It's gotta be either my son or my husband. My son is fifteen so that's about the right age and it's okay with me, but how can I tell if it was my husband? I mean, we have sex a lot so why would it be him?" I'll leave my responses to your imagination.
Therapeutic instructor in a boys' wilderness boarding school. I not only get to sleep out under the stars most of the time, one of my very favorite things, but I also get to work with amazing people, both clients and staff. It's an odd definition of fun, I guess, but nothing quite matches the feeling when the lights go on and one of my students 'gets it' or when their parents cry their eyes out because their son has finally started making progress.
Three jobs I have had in my life. The most fun were:
Short order cook in a restaurant called the Hexagon House when I was eighteen. The fact that the building was actually an octagonal shape didn't seem to register on the owners, a gay-guy couple who were more male-mothers to me than bosses. One, Rodger, had an affected falsetto voice and was the first person I ever heard ask "Would you like fries with that?" When he thought nobody could hear him his voice lowered an octave or two.
Agent in a technical call-center - yeah, the same one rapunzel worked in. I got to hear customers say cool things like "Do you have any idea what it feels like to have an entire telephone company rammed up your ass?" and "My son's computer has a message that says 'You have performed an illegal operation.' I don't want him to get into trouble with the police. What the hell did he do?" and "If the history section in the browser lists tons of porno sites does that mean they were actually visited? It's gotta be either my son or my husband. My son is fifteen so that's about the right age and it's okay with me, but how can I tell if it was my husband? I mean, we have sex a lot so why would it be him?" I'll leave my responses to your imagination.
Therapeutic instructor in a boys' wilderness boarding school. I not only get to sleep out under the stars most of the time, one of my very favorite things, but I also get to work with amazing people, both clients and staff. It's an odd definition of fun, I guess, but nothing quite matches the feeling when the lights go on and one of my students 'gets it' or when their parents cry their eyes out because their son has finally started making progress.
Three shows that I watch: (I really don't watch much television, so this is just an approximation)
Six Feet Under (on DVD - I'll probably watch each episode a zillion times before I get tired of them)
House (Whenever it's on, including reruns)
The "L" Word (on DVD)
Three places I have been to poop: Ummm, come on now! It would be far easier to list three places I haven't been to poop.
In the woods - Obviously, and lots. My DNA is spattered, I mean scattered, all over western North Carolina. But really folks, I adhere to the leave-no-trace philosophy completely, so not to worry.In a Lufthansa jet flying over the Pacific - and where, as I flushed, I knocked my glasses into the loo. Now this was an older jet, the kind with the flapper-door potty and where the venturi effect sucked all loose things immediately out into the slipstream. My glasses were goners. I always wondered...did you ever watch The Gods Must be Crazy? Yeah, I imagined a Pacific Islander minding his own business when from out of the sky a pair of shit covered glasses fall at his feet. Maybe there's a sequel here: The Gods Must Have a Shitty Outlook on Life.
In a hospital on a strange little porta-potty in the examination room after a lower GI. Ewwww....that was so weird.
Three of my favorite foods: This is one of those questions impossible to answer, at least for me. It changes every day so this is only what I'm thinking right now.
Curry anything - Lamb, tofu, oxtail, peas, potatoes, eggplant, seafood, the sky is the limit.
So spicy hot you cry anything - especially authentic Thai, Mexican, and Indian concoctions.
Marble Slab ice cream - preferably Cream with fresh strawberries or blueberries folded in.Curry anything - Lamb, tofu, oxtail, peas, potatoes, eggplant, seafood, the sky is the limit.
So spicy hot you cry anything - especially authentic Thai, Mexican, and Indian concoctions.
Sydney, The Rocks
Three friends who might be cursing me if I tag them:
Three new things I am looking forward to this year
Love, speech, lemon Italian ices, soft fleeces, warm toes, rumpy-pumpy (sorry Jon - a term too good not to use), gravel in my Keens, whimsy, sweat, sweetness, swearing, casting, skin, clouds, skinned knees...oh come on gais...this could go on forever. Oh wait, my limit was three? Hmmm. I can think of only everything or nothing, so I'll take everything. Besides, whatever there will be...will always be new, and multiple, and wonderful, no matter what.
Access: Public
community
July 2008 
Albert just the thing to make me smile on the 2nd of May 2008.
Do you have any idea how interesting,funny,amazing you are?
I'm happy to have brought you a smile B.B. And interesting, funny, amazing right back at you. Thanks…Albert
I was laughing my butt off with the story about pooping and your glasses falling into the pot and then out onto the Pacific Islands … and the Gods Must Have a Shitty Outlook on Life … !!!! OMG!!! I've been there! Innocently reaching up to adjust the specs and they go flying into the pot! Luckily … in my own bathroom! butt still … eeeeuuuuuuuu
You always bring enlightenment, laughter and such an interesting twist to the every day aspects of life!!!
and I don't believe in revenge … but I am known to be a bit of prankster - so watch out Albert, me friend!
love, peri :)
you are a perpetual delight, dear albert! thanks for another very very funny blog
Hey Peri. I love that expression, but I've always wondered, where do our butts go after we've laughed them off? And I'm down for the prankster bit…bring it on sister, bring it on!
Wow Nicole. So if I carve a path of perpetual delights the mortality thing is taken care of, right? I can see it now…I am become Mirth, destroyer of frowns….;-)
I enjoyed reading that albert. i like your name.
Thanks Jenni - glad you did. I think I'm the 10th in a line - fer real…;-)
ps: as usual you have posted an outstanding visual to accompany your great blog!!!
Thanks Peri. I just wish I could create visuals like that. Maybe I should take up painting.
you are definitely Mirth, you're archetypal, Albert!
and why not take up painting? no doubt you would be brilliant at that too!