Daybreak
Posted on Nov 11th, 2007
by
kcidybom
Sunrise
An excerpt from a story I'm working on, one about a twelve year old boy.
Some days are more remarkable than others.
The sun rises and you go about breathing and learning, taking small steps, doing all the human things, and then the sun sets and you rest, readying yourself for what tomorrow will bring, or planning for what you will bring tomorrow. Most days are like this; essential, but unremarkable when set against the vast backdrop of so many similar days, a long cadence of soft drum beats, a mirror of the heart. Yet once in a while the drum beats loudly and you remember for the rest of your life.
A soft day in late spring slowly unfolds, a day still in the grip of the dawn's chill, but with a sun that presages the heat of summer. I am just a boy. Twelve years and four days old to be exact, and although I sometimes cannot recall details from that era, my birthday and the Saturday after are etched into me with total clarity. My birthday was the one when Ralph Drivdall lined a home run through my mother's kitchen window, right in the midst of my birthday party, and right into the middle of my birthday cake. It was a good shot. Ralph was always bigger and stronger than the rest of us, and the crack of wood against ball echoed loudly off the slab sided barns. Why we had oriented the playing field toward the house, instead of away from it, I'll never understand, but as soon as the ball was hit everyone knew that the house was in peril. None of us could do calculus yet, but we all had an athlete's intuitive understanding of the inevitability of ballistics. The ball did not disappoint. The window between Ralph and the cake didn't alter the path of the ball very much, but it did contribute bits of itself to the mission. The cake looked like something from a Grimm's Fairy Tale; a beautifully decorated butterscotch and spice concoction, my favorite, with a baseball incongruously sitting in the middle of a sugary lunarian crater, all surrounded by a picket fence of broken glass shards. We were worried that my mother would make us eat it anyway. I have a film of this in my head, and I suppose at this distant remove that I should remember what happened on its own merits, but mostly I remember that birthday because it was so close to what happened the following Saturday.







WOW..this is great! I sure can see that cake…and how impossible it would have been to eat any of it after Ralph walloped the ball into the window!
Reminds me of the line drive someone drove into my right thigh dropping me to the ground in agony when I was 13.
We were playing in the field near the rhubarb patch…!
:)
Ouch! Same thing happened to me. It hurt like crazy, and the thigh muscle knotted up like a clenched fist. Ouch again. Baseball also gave me a trick thumb. I was catching once and a fastball caught the glove just right - dislocating my thumb. Ouch ouch on that one. My thumb still pops out of socket if I push just so on it. A constant reminder of the fun.
But my grandfather wouldn't let us play ball anywhere near the rhubarb patch. That was his pride and joy.
More, please. This is great writing. I was involved from the get-go.
(I know it's great writing because it makes me miss BC all the more. His work was thoroughly engaging as well, and I tend to measure all work against it.)
Shawn
Definitely more please. I'd love you to post/continue it on Diving Deeper… the prose writers there would benefit enormously.
“a baseball incongruously sitting in the middle of a sugary lunarian crater, all surrounded by a picket fence of broken glass shards”…
marvelous image.
aley: damn those rhubarbs!
I also get the more please feeling, though not for a slice of the cake
Hi everyone,
Thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot to me.
I've got more I'll multi-post soon but I'm kind of bummed out - I wrote a couple thousand words this week at school but lost my notebook. We had a runner last night and I went with the search party to find him. I left with the notebook in my jacket pocket but returned without it. Thankfully we found the boy who had run, but now my notebook is somewhere in the forest near school. And it was snowing a bit when I left tonight. Damn. I hope I used waterproof ink.
Albert
Oh yeah, ShawnMichel, what, or who, is BC?
Albert,
I'm signing on a few days late with my comment… as I've been busy working on some exerts from the life of a 12 year old girl that I know. I'm glad I stopped by to catch this tantalizing glimpse of your writing. You're GOOD! What a coincidence that we are both doing this at the same time, my friend! Wow!
More please! I sure hope you find your notebook… and if not, that your muses allow you to recreate even more splendid prose!
hugs,
peri
Thanks peri. That 12 year old time was, ummm, interesting. Some of the best and some of the worst, all rolled into one year or so. This particular recollection will accentuate the positive though. I'll put some more up before I go back to work Monday.
I hope to read your piece too. Pretty please?